your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
