someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
