bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
