I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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