i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
