I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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