have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
