Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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