My nipple is on Facebook.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
