First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
