its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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