i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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