In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
