I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Im part way to drunk.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
