You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
