If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
PANTIES FOUND
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