I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
