i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
