Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
