i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
