remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
