Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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