i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
