as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
