oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
