I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
