Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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