By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
this hospital has no fireball
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
