we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
