He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize