she woke up with a sticky ear
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
