lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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