She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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