The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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