you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
