My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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