we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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