Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
