I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
