Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wanna go halves on a baby?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
