i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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