Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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