I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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