yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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