walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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