So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
