I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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