Can i not drive my cunt home
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
