at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
