that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
