This beer is not sobering me up at all
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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