evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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