He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
