making cat noises will not fix the situation.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize