I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
ttyl tear gas
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
