I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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