Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
