Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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