fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
