he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize