His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
