I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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