Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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